Wednesday, November 9


i waited for you. i stood in the bookstore for close to 2 hours and waited for you. And you know what? I didn't mind. It's funny because the last time i waited for someone for that long or even longer, without the aid of a chair or anything good to while away my time was a long time ago.

Thursday, November 3

on my knees

very few things... very few people could break my heart so easily. that could cause me such blinding pain that i wish i would just shrivel up and die. very few.

all i ever wanted from him was the truth. no matter how painful.

but then he'd always say,

"why should i explain myself to you?"

i know now why i want to leave, to be far away from here

he won't be able to hurt me there.

* * *
at the end of the day
all i really wanted was
for something to work out this time.
something that would mean forever.
don't i deserve that?
judging from all those who had me, discarded me and chose someone else to spend the rest of their lives with or at least most of their time with
apparently not.

* * *

my mom once said to me
"men can come and go in your life, breaking your heart over and over again
but your family will always be here to love you no matter what."

i want to go home.